Feeling Depressed? This May Help…My Research Into Depression and How I Learned To Fix It.

If you are struggling with depression, you are living in the past. Something is holding you back…preventing you from being present…

…present for yourself, your family, friends, and loved ones.

We all struggle with the past…decisions we made, actions we’ve taken, past trauma or painful losses.

This excludes perfect human beings of course…aka narcissists. Sorry, this is my poor attempt at making humor of a not so funny topic. Enough fuckery…

As for most of us, we do not fully process these painful experiences in a healthy manner which allows us to move forward. This keeps us stuck in the past, re-living these painful experiences, and never fully able to move forward. And when we can’t move forward, the depressing feelings escalate, and seem to creep their way into all aspects of our lives, relationships, and work; oftentimes causing compounding negative effects and leaving destruction in our wake.

In order for us to move forward, we must “move through” these painful experiences. We must properly heal from these experiences, so that we no longer need to carry the crushing weight of past experiences and finally put an end to the vicious cycle of negativity impacting our present lives.

So HOW can we heal?

I’m not an expert or a licensed therapist. And fully unpacking one’s individual depression in a healthy way is a complex matter that should only be trusted to a licensed professional. I can only share with you my experiences in hopes that this will help shed some light on your current situation and provide some relief.

Here’s what helped me through my journey and research of depression:

1. Stop running

We think it’s easier to keep running from the past. But all this does is leave a path of more hurt, pain and destruction in your life, business, and relationships. The decision for me to stop running wasn’t easy and came forcefully into my life like a tsunami – crashing onto the shores of a thriving and developed community, leaving chaos and destruction buried beneath in-measurable feet of flooding waters.

One day everything just gave out…my body stopped working and my mind was stuck in an endless loop of loss, pain and regret. In the days that followed, lying on the floor of my home, mind frantically racing, and body completely drained of energy, I had to make a decision…give up or move forward.

And for me, the only way forward was to stop running…aka filling my time with countless hours of work, binging Netflix, or trying to drown out the noise with excessive drinking.

2. Be brutally honest with yourself

What got you here will not help you move forward. You cannot control anyone else, so stop blaming others. Unless you are honest with yourself, you’re going to keep lying to yourself and making more excuses, which will keep you in depression.

You and you alone are responsible for your own thoughts and actions. So be honest with yourself as to what thoughts and actions are negatively impacting your life. When I finally sat down and took inventory of my own thoughts and actions, I was able to begin working on them.

“You cannot be honest with others until you are honest with yourself.”

3. Talk to a professional

Sometimes speaking to friends, family, and loved ones simply isn’t enough…even though they may have the best intentions for you. This is where a licensed professional (therapist) can help you. I’m fortunate enough to have a licensed therapist in my family who was able to tap into her network of colleagues and help find the right person for me.

Not only will a good therapist listen, like actually listen – with compassion and empathy, but they’ll also provide enlightenment and answers to help you properly heal from your past, so that you can move forward. Here are some places to start to help you find the right professional to speak with:

https://wellspringssolutions.com/
https://www.betterhelp.com/

4. Reading

I started reading everyday, for hours at a time. I knew I didn’t have the answers to things I was dealing with, so decided to seek those answers within books recommended to me by my therapist, mentors, and colleagues. This was tremendously helpful in understanding myself and finding answers to difficult topics I was struggling with. It also helped me find communities of others who dealt with the same struggles, where I was met with empathy, understanding, and compassion.

Once I found answers in non-fiction, I graduated to reading fiction books.

It’s proven that reading fiction can help actively engage your imagination and connect emotionally to characters in the story. This helps you reflect on your own feelings, problems, and desires as you read.

The Health Benefits of Reading

I’m building a library of recommended books here: My Library

5. Vitamins and minerals

Depression can be caused by the depletion of essential vitamins and minerals in your body, which creates chemical imbalances in your brain.

You can restore balance with things like Omega-3 fatty acids, vitamin D, vitamin B, zinc, and magnesium. I highly recommend taking a vitamin deficiency test through your doctor to help find the right vitamins and supplements for your body.

Can Nutrient Deficiency Cause Depression?

Over the past three years I’ve personally built a vitamin and mineral stack that seems to really work well with my body and lifestyle. These include:

*It’s important to note that I’m constantly tweaking this and adding/subtracting to it as I “listen” to my body and observe progress.

6. Make healthier eating choices

I’ll be honest, I used to eat like shit! My diet consisted primarily of quick, processed foods – “quick, throw this in your mouth and get back to work”. Eating healthy will help ensure you’re getting the proper nutrients, vitamins, and minerals in your body. Limit your consumption of processed foods, and eat more fruits and vegetables.

Drink more water – most of us do not drink enough water each day. The brain, specifically, is made up of 70% water. If you’re not drinking enough water, this leads to chemical imbalances in your brain, which can ultimately fuel increased feelings of depression. Drinking more water can also help flush fat and toxins from your body, and help deliver vitamins and minerals throughout your body.

The Water in You: Water and the Human Body

*The biggest change for me came after I read Eat Smarter 🥑 which taught me how to utilize food to hack my body and brain chemistry.

7. Exercise

I went from being a very active child/teen to sitting behind a computer all day as an adult. So my adult lifestyle was severely lacking in this department. Exercise has been proven to reduce stress, depression, anxiety, improve confidence and self-esteem, and increase cognitive brain function.

“Scientific research shows that the accumulation of visceral fat is directly linked to depression. Exercise helps reduce and eliminate visceral fat.”

Depression Linked With Accumulation Of Visceral Fat

Exercise also increases blood flow to vital organs in your body, including your heart, lungs, and brain. And increased blood flow helps to remove toxins from your body and deliver vitamins and minerals to your organs, restoring balance.

8. Get Better Sleep

I struggle with this one, especially being an entrepreneur working in the digital creative space. When inspiration hits at 11 o’clock at night, it’s hard for me not to get up and at least start mapping out ideas. If I don’t I’ll lie awake for hours thinking. For a while I tried to be part of the “no sleep” movement where they’d preach that you can function on only 4 hours of sleep.

This idea is also pretty common in the “entrepreneurial community”. Work harder, don’t sleep, blah, blah. For me, sometimes this works…but in small doses. Sustainably, however, I found this to be complete bullshit and actually destructive.

Look at Gary Vee for example. I love him, but dude looks rough at times. Someone please give that man a pillow!

My sweet spot is 6-7ish hours of sleep. You’ll need to experiment with this one to find what works best for you.

“Depression and sleep problems are closely linked. People with insomnia, for example, may have a tenfold higher risk of developing depression than people who get a good night’s sleep. And among people with depression, 75 percent have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep.”

Depression and Sleep: Understanding the Connection

*Sometimes I use an app called Calm to help me fall asleep, especially if my mind is racing at night.

9. Journaling

I love writing. When an idea hits, I write it down. When negative thoughts come up or I start re-living the past, I turn to my journal. When I have a big win in life, I write about it to examine what worked and what led to my success. When I fuck up, I write about it to reflect and explore what I could’ve done differently.

Writing helps me get shitty thoughts out of my head. It helps me explore different options for a given circumstance. It provides me the freedom and opportunity to explore passions, ideas and inspirations, focus to narrow down these ideas/inspiration into actionable items, the ability to congratulate myself on successes, and to reflect on my shortcomings when something hasn’t worked out as I planned.

Here’s a great article covering 83 Benefits of Journaling for Depression, Anxiety, and Stress

Here are some journals to get you started:

New Mindset, Who Dis?

Unbothered

Creative Thinking Journal

10. Spending time in nature

I’ve always been drawn to the outdoors, specifically any type of water. Lakes, rivers, the ocean, all seem to have a calming effect on my soul (yes, I feel it that deeply). Research has proven that spending time in nature can have similar benefits on your brain as practiced meditation.

“Nature can generate a multitude of positive emotions, such as calmness, joy, creativity and can facilitate concentration. Nature connectedness is also associated with lower levels of poor mental health; in particular lower depression and anxiety levels.”

Nature: How connecting with nature benefits our mental health

11. Meditation

Finally one of my favorite self-care topics! Meditation is probably one of the most beneficial self-care practices in my routine. Being able to sit in silence, or with the aid of binaural sounds (my article to expand on this), and clear my mind through meditation has helped me to find answers and solutions to some of my most complex issues, dealing with the loss of loved ones, as well as struggles in my current life and in business.

I also use guided meditations to help with specific topics (ex. reparenting) and falling asleep at night – which has gotten much better for me, but sleep is an area I still struggle with at times. I’m a creative person…when inspiration comes, it hits different.

Here are some resources to help:

https://www.calm.com/

If you’re currently dealing with depression, you are not alone! Please consider talking with a licensed therapist to help you. There is no shame in asking for help.

Everyone has dealt with some level of depression at some point in their lives – whether they are willing to admit it or not. The important thing is that you be honest with yourself and do something about it by utilizing some (or all) of the ideas and resources I’ve outlined above. I sincerely hope this article helps you or someone you know who may be struggling with depression!

“Take what you need and leave the rest”

I treat all content and learning with this approach, and I encourage you to do the same. I’m no expert or licensed therapist, so my only intention is to provide valuable insights on what has worked in my life.

As always, please remember to be kind to each other. Every person you meet is battling some sort of internal struggle you know nothing about. Keep that in mind, and treat others with respect, empathy and compassion. ❤️‍🩹